


Coffee

by Donya



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coffee, Crack, Humour, Implied Frostiron, M/M, What Happened in Budapest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:30:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/Donya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is not a morning person. He's not a person at all before he gets his coffee. Explaining that to Bruce might not be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Trust me, I was totally sober while writing this.

'... and then Natasha said, "Let's never talk about this again, ever." And this this what happened in Budapest,' Tony finished the story and casually buttered his toast, while Bruce was trying to get over the shock. His hands were shaking and he spilt the milk. Tony wiped the table, munching on his toast, gazing at Bruce with obvious satisfaction. He knew Bruce would love the story.

'Oh- oh dear God,' Bruce muttered nervously. 'Why did you tell me this? How am I supposed to be around Natasha and stay calm? Oh God.'

'Just remember, she cannot know that Hawkeye told us about Budapest. She would freak out,' Tony could not hide his hope for this to happen. He imagined making tons of popcorn and watching their fight. Maybe with Thor, he would be so confused. Silly Avengers.

'What? You're saying this _now_? I cannot keep a secret like this!' Bruce held his cup with both hands and drank his tea at one go, the warmth might calm him down. It did but only for a short moment. Bruce literally forgot how to breathe when a strange growling creature entered the kitchen. Tall, wearing too small stripped pyjama bottoms, its chest covered in sleep creases, the face hidden behind messy tangled hair. The creature let out a groan and when it did not catch Tony's attention, another, louder one escaped its mouth. Tony put down his toast, smiled and fearlessly led the creature the the table. 

'Sit. And be nice, we have a guest,' Tony pointed to Bruce. 

'RRrrrrrghh!' The creature did not seem to enjoy company. It looked at Tony, its half-lidded eyes made Bruce shift uneasily.

'Yes, yes, your coffee is ready.'

A large mug appeared before the creature. It eyed the coffee carefully, sniffed it and finally grabbed the mug and took a sip, naturally burning its tongue. It yelped miserably, looking at Tony. He took the mug and put it back on the table.

'Ah, it's always the same. Blow on it first! It's very hot!' Tony warned with an endless patience, giving the creature a broad smile of encouragement. 'Like this- pfff, pfff.'

Bruce did not believe his own eyes. Freaking Tony must have spiked his tea. It could not be happening. What was Loki doing in Stark's kitchen? What was wrong with him? Apart from being insane, he was always well-dressed and, umm, able to speak a human language.

'See, now it's better. Drink and let us talk.' Tony turned to Bruce, having ensured Loki wouldn't burn himself again. 'Yes, Bruce?'

'But- but- is that-?' 

'Loki. Chill out, he's not dangerous. All he cares about now is his coffee. We've got like an hour before he's back to his usual self. So, I'm going to tell Thor about Budapest. Can you imagine his reaction? He he, he'd be crying in a corner,' Tony giggled, pouring milk on his cereal. 'I think Hawkeye is actually more scared of Natasha than attracted to her.' 

Who cared about Hawkeye! There was Loki, half naked Loki, drinking Tony's coffee, wearing Tony's pyjamas! That was at least disturbing. Did Thor know about this? Why wasn't Loki in prison? Why Tony took care of him, with that stupid grin on his face?

'LOKI!' Bruce choked out, putting all his questions in this one word. Tony nodded, chewing and swallowing. 

'Yeah, yeah, I know.'

'Mrrrnghh,' Loki purred at Tony. Was that gratefulness in his eyes? He made that awful sound again and Tony smoothed his hair, surprisingly gently. Loki leant into the touch, dear Lord, he was an animal. A pet. _Tony's pet_. Bruce's head was spinning. 

'Why-'

'Mhherrr,' Loki demanded, pushing his mug towards Tony. He was fast and well, very thirsty. What made him so thirsty, oh no, no, Bruce did not want to know.

'More?' Tony seemed to be completely unfazed by Loki's state, talking to him normally. Those two appeared to be horribly close, reading each other's mind, even when one of them was an animal. An animal in- NO, stupid brain, stop.

Tony refilled Loki's mug, ceremoniously blew on it and gave Loki a piece of chocolate. Meeting Bruce's gaze, he explained calmly:

'He has such a sweet tooth. I had to buy milk chocolate for him. That's not even a chocolate. The real chocolate is the dark one, when it has at least 50- 60 % of cocoa. You know what pisses me off? White chocolate. It's just fat, no cocoa at all, eeew.'

'TONY!' Bruce snapped, slapping the table. The coffee spilt and Loki mewled when it landed on his fingers. Tony wiped his hand and- oh God- kissed it.

'There, it's ok now.'

'TONY! Should I ask what he is doing here?'

'You might but you would not like the answer.' Tony was suddenly serious. Oh, so he was aware of how wrong it was to keep a villain as a pet. Good sign. 'No, you're not getting any more chocolate, Loki. NO, I said no!'

'Thank you for your consideration, Tony, really. Why is he like this? What did you do to him?' Bruce narrowed his eyes, Tony had a shady reputation for a reason.

'Yeaaah, about that- here's a fun fact: those Asgardian Frost Giants are not supposed to drink coffee,' Tony sounded worried now. 'See, it's my fault, kinda. Or Loki's. One morning he was so cranky that I made him try coffee and oops, he might have developed a slight addiction to it. Zero chance of getting him out of this state without like a gallon of strong coffee. I _broke_ him, ok?'

'OK?' Bruce echoed, failing to process this information.

'Anyway, he's adorable like this. He's slow and cannot make those malicious comments of his. Isn't that right, Loki?'

'HRrrrgh!' And they beamed at each other like idiots. Bruce nodded, Tony definitely needed his support, he had to be there for him without judgement. Even if Bruce was judging him right now, judging him very hard. 

'Maybe- umm- we could run some tests?' Yes, that was helpful. It was not insane shouting and threatening to call Thor. Good. Good. That's what friends do. 'Like now, when he's still an animal.'

Tony covered Loki's ears with his palms and yelled, appalled:

'BRUCE! Don't call him like that!'  

It was not even a theatrical gesture, Tony really meant that. Bruce gave up, folded his arms on the table and buried his face there. It was a nightmare, he told himself. He needed a nice good sleep and then it all would be gone. Just before he drifted away, he heard Tony's muttering:

'Hey, Bruce, want some coffee, too?' 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Co autor miau na myśli? Próżno dociec.


End file.
